Dear Chuck,
I hope this handwritten note finds you feeling disgusted that it’s not an email. Get used to the disgust, as I’ve had to get used to the disgust of sitting in the same workroom as you.
Guess what. There has already been a Steve Jobs. You are not Steve Jobs. When I ask if you know when the office manager is going to refill the snacks, that is not an invitation for you to mansplain various applications of the golden ratio. Because judging from your Photoshop mockups, you aren’t using a golden, silver, or bronze ratio. Chuck, you’re using the shit ratio. Which is fitting because you are a piece of shit.
If you applied 10% of your unsolicited theories to your own work, and opted to sit down instead of stand up at your adjustable height desk, you and I could get along. At the very least, I’d email you instead of wasting this expensive stationary from Papyrus.
Best,
Jennifer